Bronchitis

I had never had bronchitis before.  After 12 days of being sick with no relief, I gave in and went to the doctor (on a top 10 list of places I do not like to be).  He listened to my sickly saga, looked in my throat, listened to my breathing via stethoscope, and immediately gave the prognosis: bronchitis.  The result: a flu vaccine (to ward off future viruses) and a litany of pills — an antibiotic, a decongestant/antihistamine (because all of my life pseudoephedrine has never worked for me), an anti-inflammatory, and a cough suppressant.  I don’t remember the last time I took so many drugs.  I also don’t remember the last time I was sick for so long.

A little internet research proved confusing and unhelpful.  Though I learned new words like “expectorating”, a lot of what I found seemed to contradict what the doctor had told me.  Coincidentally, this week on iTunes there was a free hour-long special with Dan Rathers entitled “Addicted to Antibiotics.”  The accompanying description cried, “Every year, more than 90,000 Americans die from superbugs that antibiotics cannot treat; these antibiotic-resistant infections, caused directly by the overuse of antibiotics, cost us more than $35 billion a year.”  I started to watch it, but decided to wait until I am well.  Don’t need that kind of stuff swirling in my head at the moment.

Though I do have congestion and inflammation and an expectorating cough and apparently there is most likely infection in my large bronchi in my lungs, the hardest part now is mental.  90% of me feels great.  I want to go for a bike ride.  A long one.  A hard one.  Maybe a long and hard one.  My body wants to move, to go go go.  Common sense and friends and my mother tell me NO.  Studies have shown that there is a direct relationship between physical and mental health — the increasingly sedentary lifestyle in America is now beginning to be understood as a factor in the also increasing presence of depression and mental illnesses.  I believe it.  Moving your body and exercise have both physical and mental benefits.

So while I have been rather impatient with this sickness and admit to more than a little wallowing in self-pity, I am trying to ask God what He wants to teach me through this new and not exactly pleasant experience.  Perhaps He is preparing me for something else that is in my future (not a thought I particularly treasure).  I am reminded to pray for Pastor Mike in San Diego who is also having lung issues, but with a tumor instead of a little bacteria or virus.  I am reminded that 12 days of sickness is a drop in the bucket for people who have met and are struggling with cancer and other diseases.  I am being forced to rest a little more (not easy!).  I have experienced the discipline of silence, but of a different sort – when I lost my voice, I had to cherish the opportunity to listen more intently to others.  I had to confront a different kind of loneliness – not many people want to have a conversation with me when I can’t speak.  I am becoming more aware of the various pains and sufferings of those who are sick… and wonder what people do without Jesus.

My friend’s mom (and my friend as well) has been working to conquer cancer over the last year or more.  She keeps people updated on her progress with a blog, and she always includes a song of praise to God.  So, in the spirit of Cindy, here is one I’m listening to from the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir:

“I know that I can make it,

I know that I can stand.

No matter what may come my way,

My life is in Your hands.

With Jesus I can take it,

With Him I know I can stand.

No matter what may come my way,

My life is in Your hands.”